I was blown away. A colleague’s quiet, yet connected and engaging, presence in a small group meeting completely obliterated many of my preconceived notions about them.
For as long as I’d known them, I’d seen their quiet nature as a weakness. They faded into the crowd in larger meetings, losing the opportunity to influence the conversation. I knew they were talented, but never got to see that competence shine on the professional stages we shared. I thought their quiet was holding them back.
But I was so wrong. Their quiet wasn’t a weakness. It was their magic. It was their superpower. I simply hadn’t seen it on the right stage. Once I witnessed them connect deeply with the people in a small group, I realized how powerful that quiet presence could be. It puts everyone at ease and creates an inclusive welcoming of other voices, while setting the stage for their voice to be heard as well. It equalizes the room in a way that the boisterous among us never do.
“We tend to overestimate how outgoing leaders need to be.” — Susan Cain, Quiet
I remember reading Susan Cain’s Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking during a cross-country flight to Seattle, soon after I met my wife. A self-professed introvert, she’d recommended the book to me as a way of understanding her and others who lived on the opposite side of the extrovert-introvert continuum from me. As I look through the book 5-1/2 years later, I see my underlines and scribbles, noting where ideas struck me.
A couple of those salient points live in her concluding chapter, where Cain encourages us to “make the most of introverts’ strengths — these are the people who can help you think deeply, strategize, solve complex problems, and spot canaries in your coal mine” and remind us that “the secret to life is to put yourself in the right lighting.”
As I reflect on how eye-opening the change of venue — the right lighting — was with my colleague, I know that I need to do a better job of discovering the strengths — the superpowers — of those around me, especially those whose strengths don’t reflect my own or have an obvious reveal in our current environments.
It’s imperative as leaders to create the opportunities for this discovery, so we can help others unlock their potential to contribute more fully to our collective good. And if you’re feeling unseen by the leaders around you, consider how you can find or create the right lighting that reveals your superpowers.